How can a Month be both the shortest and the longest at the same time?

16 Apr

I keep the bird feeder full, it keeps me sane-r. The 2 feet of hard, sharp unchanging snow needs to have those feathered citizens- looking so busy- to give the world some movement and vitality. This is a taxing month. On the one hand I pine, long, crave the wet green of spring proper; on the other it is bearing down from the distance, like the distant sound of thunder whose clouds you can’t see. Spring that I long for also means a frentic pace that has me weeping by evening, tallying the jobs yet undone. What can I do to prepare for the manic days ahead, to make space in the pace- so to speak? I hate being so busy, that terrible pushed feeling. For years now I’ve felt an invisible hand on my back, pushing onward, even as I stumble. I didn’t even stop to ponder the feeling, I just kept my little legs spinning. Then- Bam! One exhausted day I thought, What the hell is this? I don’t want to live like this- I don’t need to. My job is done. No one is going to go hungry, no one will sleep out in the cold, no one will be traumatized or disappointed. Those days are past now. What a thought! The kids are grown and happy- successful enough for me to borrow money from them. Things are good. Husband has a job he loves, good…. And he’s workaholic enough for both of us. See the therapy I can give myself? I’m a pretty self contained unit. πŸ™‚ Nessecary self-support network.
Now just breathe.
It looks like a scene from the movie “The Birds” out there, you’d think this was the only grocery store in 100 miles. Makin’ hay while the sun shines, huh guys? Well it’s not a bad idea my little friends. The way I’m chucking responsibilities around here, you never know if the bird feeder is next! (You’re on your own guys! Buck up! It’ll be good for ya, build character and all that.) I’m off to pick violets.
In my mind.

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2 Responses to “How can a Month be both the shortest and the longest at the same time?”

  1. ugavic April 16, 2013 at 6:51 pm #

    The stress we put on ourselves…glad you have found a balance πŸ™‚

  2. Diane May 21, 2013 at 7:36 am #

    Hope you are really picking violets now, and not just in your mind! I imagine you are super busy…sent you an email last week about arriving 6/21 and hoping that’s okay. Will try reaching you again soon.
    Happy spring unfolding! Diane

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